If Valentine's Day didn't work out the way you had planned, you might
need the following:


DEAR JOHN/JOANNE FORM LETTER
----------------------------


Dear  __________________________ :


Well, it was good while it lasted, but now:  
___ county health services now wants your phone number  
___ time wounds all heals  
___ you can have an intimate relationship with your answering
    machine  
___ is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the
    party.


I finally got the: 
___ message  
___ picture  
___ joke  
___ right cologne   
___ blood test results. 


I don't:  
___ like 
___ want 
___ need 

a Vanna White impression to have it spelled out for me. 


Too bad, because when you want, you can be:  
___ beautiful  
___ handsome 
___ intelligent  
___ very  psychic/psychotic  
___ a sex maniac  
___ God's answer for having too much fun 
___ Arnold Schwartzenneger's prototype for Terminator 3.


I would greatly appreciate you taking responsibility for:  
___ your own "stuff"    
___ feeding the starving sharks  
___ paying for your own lobotomy,  

and being:    
___ confused    
___ a Mooney/Jehovah Witness/Feminizt
___ a pre-operative transsexual. 


I didn't:  
___ have an impure thought  
___ tell anyone about your operation           
___ write to the National Enquirer,  
___ bribe that short guard in cell block D

, but I wish I had.


Thank you for helping me to see the light about you. 


I now no longer feel like:  
___ seeing you  
___ knowing that you ever existed        
___ flushing the toilet.


Sincerely glad to not be yours,

(signature)