WHY THE INTERNET IS LIKE A PENIS

1.  Some folks have it.  Some don't.  Those who have it would be   
devastated if it were ever cut off.

2.  Those who have it think that those who don't have it are somehow   
inferior.

3.  Those who have it think it gives them power, but they're just   
deluding themselves.

4.  Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think   
it's not worth the fuss made over it by those who do have it.  Still, many
of those who don't have it would like to try it.

5.  It can be up or down.  It's more fun when it's up, but makes it hard   
to get any real work done.

6.  In the long-distant past, it's only purpose was to transmit   
information considered vital to the survival of the species.  Some people   
still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks   
today use it just for fun most of the time.

7.  Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop.  Some people   
would just play with all day if they didn't have work to do.

8.  It provides a way to interact with other people.  Some people take   
this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark.  Sometimes it's
hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

9.  If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
viruses.

10. It has no brain of its own.  Instead, it uses yours.  If you use it too
much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

11. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than what its   
actual size  and influence warrant.

12. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big   
trouble.

13. It has it's own agenda.  Somehow, no matter how well your intentions,   
it will warp your behaviour.  Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did
I do that?"

14. It has no conscience and no memory.  Left to its own devices, it will   
do the same dumb things it did before.