May your balls turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up yer arse!

and an oldie but a goodie, (if there are any bits not here please update
it)

WHY IS IT SO BAD TO BE A PENIS?

You are a dickhead,
2 nuts follow you around all day,
Your neighbour is an arsehole,
Your best friend is a c--t
and your landlord beats you till you throw up!