THE BEDROOM HANDICAP

Racing today is at Royal Randwick and the main event is that annual romp
of a race
The Bedroom Handicap

1.  LIVING BRA        10-1
2.  SILK PANTIES      8-1
3.  FAIR CONSCIENCE   40-1
4.  PASSIONATE LADY   7-2
5.  LOVE JUICE        4-1
6.  LOVELY LEGS       9-1
7.  WHITE THIGHS      13-2
8.  BIG DICK          2-1
9.  CLEAN SHEETS      100-1
10. PYJAMAS           7-1
11. BARE BACK        11-2

COMMENTARY:

  They're off Silk Panties and Pyjamas were off first, Clean Sheets is in
a dangerous position and Conscience was left at the starting gates. 
Passionate Lady and White Thighs are very close together, with Big Dick
trying to force his way through.  At the turn Passionate Lady is under
pressure while White Thighs and Lovely Legs are drawing apart, with Big
Dick now making his way into the gap.

  In the straight it's a fight between Passionate Lady and Big Dick; Big
Dick is doing everything in his power to get his sport up before its to
late.  White thighs and Lovely Legs are fully extended and foaming at
the mouth, but it's not over yet and Big Dick has made a quick spurt to
win by a length.

SUMMARY:

  Big Dick looked a winner from the start, White Thighs and Lovely Legs
opened out.  Passionate Lady proved to be game all the way.  Silk
Panties dropped at the start.  Love Juice ran badly and interfered with
Clean Sheets.  Conscience wasn't a factor.  On the whole it was a tight
finish and very thrilling in the closing stages.

  Tragedy of the race was Living Bra who was torn badly on the third
fence and had to be destroyed.  Lucky to get away was Bare Back with some
minor scratching.