[jokelist.txt] 05/26/1996 18:16:21
A kid comes home from school and asks his dad to help him with his
homework. He has to find out the difference between 'potential' and

'reality'.

The kids dad says, "Go ask your sister if she'll have sex with the
garbo for a million bucks!".

"I can't ask her that!", exclaimed the kid. "Just go and do it!", h
is
old man insists.

The kid comes back a few minutes later, wide eyed, "She said yes da
d!"
"Now, go ask your mother if she'll have sex with the garbo for a
million bucks!" "I can't ask Mum that!", says the kid. "Just do
it!!!", replies the father.

The kid disappears and returns, "She says yes!". The father smiles,

"Now, go and ask your brother if he'll have sex with the garbo for
a
million bucks!".

The kid asks his brother, and returns, "Geez Dad! He said yes too!"
.

"Well, now you see the difference son", explains his father. "You s
ee,
'potentially' we have three million dollars in this family, but in
'reality' we have two sluts and a poofter.

*******************************************************************
********
A slice short of a loaf

A suasage short of a barbecue

A card short in the deck

Swimming in the shallow end of the gene-pool

His lift doesn't get right to the top.

A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock
*******************************************************************
******
Q: What's the difference between a male mud crab & a female mud cra
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---

[jokelist.txt] 05/26/1996 18:16:24
b?


A: Mud flaps :)

*******************************************************************
*******
Seen on one of the fortunes of a linux login session:

I played poker with Tarot cards until late last night!
I got a royal flush, and four people died...

*******************************************************************
*********
Pittsburgh Driver's Test

(8) Pedestrians are

(a) irrelevant.
(b) communists.
(c) a nuisance.
(d) difficult to clean off the front grille.

The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they ar
e
totally irrelevant to driving; you should ignore them completely.


*******************************************************************
*****
Seven men with knowledge so fine...
Created pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart with wit...
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold...
With a hammer and chisel he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin...
By using velvet, he lined it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout...
With a piece of fur he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as all hell
He threw in a fish, and gave it a smell.

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---

[jokelist.txt] 05/26/1996 18:16:25
Sixth was a preacher, his name was McGee...
He touched it, blessed it and said it could pee.

Finally came a biker, hairy little runt...
He sucked it, fucked it and called it a cunt.

*******************************************************************
******
Q> What is the worst thing about safe sex?
A> When you have to stop and turn the page..

*******************************************************************
********
A guy is working in an XXX bookstore and business is going kind of
slow.

A black lady walks in, looks around, and asks "How much for that bl
ack Dildo"

"50 dollars" the man replys

"the white one?"

"$75"

"ok I'll take the white one" so the black lady takes her white dild
o and
leaves

A few minutes later a white lady walks in, looks around and asks "H
ow
much for this white dildo?"

"50 dollars"

"How much for the black one?"

"$75"

"ok I'll take the black one" so the the white lady takes her black
dildo
and leaves

Later a polish lady walks in a asks "How much for the black dildo?"


"50 dollars"

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---

[jokelist.txt] 05/26/1996 18:16:26
"The white one?"

"$75"

"How about the plaid one behind the counter?"

"Uhhhh..$200"

"OK Ill take the plaid one" and with her purchase the polish lady l
eaves
the store.

About an hour later the owner of the sex shop comes in and asks
"SO how is business?"

The employee replies " FUCKING GREAT!! I sold a black lady a white
dildo
for $75, a white lady a black dildo for $75, and some stupid polish
lady
my THERMOS for two hundred!



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