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This is a list of quotes that i have found around the place that i like, the format should be:
quote.
--by Quotee, Where it was quoted
If there is no Quotee, it is by "Anon", doesnt have a place or a date, it either means that it is unknown or I dont know it, if you can fill me in on please goto the email at the bottom of the page
All the essays are on separate pages.
In some cases there will be a link, these are links to the web site that I got the quote off or a web site which after knowing the quote I found the quote in its context.
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
--by Mark Twain
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
--by Hamlet in Spakespeare's Hamlet
"Computer ..." said Zaphod again, who had been trying to think of
some subtle piece of reasoning to put the computer down with, and
had decided not to bother competing with it on its own ground,
"if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap
straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a
very large axe, got that?"
--by Douglas Adams in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
An essay Is There a Santa Claus by Arakorni
Zog what?
Zog Yes?
Zog No?
--by Ivanova in the program Babylon 5
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
--by Lord Polonius in Spakespeare's Hamlet
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
--by Lord Polonius in Spakespeare's Hamlet
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
--by Lord Polonius in Spakespeare's Hamlet
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
--by Macbeth in Spakespeare's Macbeth
ELWOOD: It's 106 miles to Chicago, We've got a full tank of Gas, 1/2 pack of Cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses
JAKE: HIT IT!
--An exert taken from The Blues Brothers
They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
--by Elwood The Blues Brothers
He cant stop us. We're on a mission from Glod.
--from a Terry Pratchett book
We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight; and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois law enforcement community, who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show, and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still somethings that make us all the same - you, me, them, everybody. Everybody.
--by Elwood as an introduction to "Everybody Needs Somebody" in The Blues Brothers
The use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.
--Dispatcher in The Blues Brothers
The effect of using quotation marks with slang is merely to convert a mental into a moral weakness. When they are not used, we may mercifully assume that the writer does not know the difference between slang and good English, and sins in ignorance: when they are, he is telling us, I know it is naughty, but then it is nice. Most of us would rather be taken for knaves than for fools; and so the quotation marks are usually there.
--from Fowler, H. W. 1908. The King's English
"A teaser? Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets which haven't made interstellar contact yet and buzz them."
"Buzz them?" Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life difficult for him.
"Yeah", said Ford, "they buzz them. They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor soul whom no one's ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennae on their heads and making beep beep noises. Rather childish really." Ford leant back on the mattress with his hands behind his head and looked infuriatingly pleased with himself.
--by Douglas Adams in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Imagination is more important than knowledge
--by Albert Einstein
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose that you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
--by Mark Twain
My words are like water. The works of great masters are like wine. But everonye drinks water."
--by Mark Twain
Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
--Lord Acton
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on.
--Winston Churchill
There are three kinds of lies: lies, Damned lies, and statistics.
--Benjamin Disraeli
Common sense is the collection of prijudices acquired by age eighteen.
--Albert Einstein
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
--Albert Einstein
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
--Benjamin Franklin
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
--Robert Frost
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
--Aaron Levenstein
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
--Ernie Kovacs
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the peopel all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
--Abraham Lincoln
Death Ruins a Large Portion of Victims Lives.
--An Australian news paper.
A commencement speach writen by Mary Schmich, a columnist for The Chicago Tribune starting with the words "wear sunscreen...". Originally thought to be writen by Kurt Vonnegut.
He who knows not that he knows not is a fool,
Shun him.
He who knows not that he knows is asleep,
Wake him.
He who knows that he knows not is a student,
Teach him.
He who knows that he knows is wise,
Follow him.
--anon
Some of you young fokes have been saying to me "hey pops, what do you mean what a wonderful world? how about all them wars all over the place you call them wonderful? and how about hunger and pollution they arent so wonderful either, but how about you listen to old pops for a minute seems to me that it ant the world that so bad but what were doing to it and all Im saying is see what a wonderful world it would be if only we give it a chance.
-Louis Armstrong
We're just wallflowers in the dancehall of democarcy
Just another punter down the palais do power
Courted on all sides by men and women
Who never know how little they really mean to us
I watch them dancing the tango of instant gratification
-But the rhythms will change- 'cos they always do.
And when that happens - then I'll dance
...Not with them but with you!
-someone who I dont know
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
-Douglas Adams
If you have any good quotes or have any suggestions for this page please email me at Djinn@ucc.gu.uwa.edu.au
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